Saturday, 16 August 2008

The Great Photo Conspiracy. EXPOSED.(and a drawing of a monkey)

Never in my life have I liked having my photo taken, NEVER...well perhaps there was a time when I was six or seven and once a few years ago but come to think of it both of these occasions involved professional photographers so I guess these occasions do not count.
But I digress.
For the last ten years I have activity avoided having my photo taken (sometimes to the extreme) BUT this morning I worked out just what has been going on. It was in the early hours, just after your alarm goes off for the 4th time and you are half awake but still half asleep, that it came to me, the answer to the question of-
“Why do some people ALWAYS look terrible in photos?”
AND HERE IS THE ANSWER....WAIT FOR IT....This will BLOW your mind
You are out with friends or family and a camera is brought out (wiped out more likely) you are actively trying to avoid the group photo but there is no escape so you surrender.
The instant that person depresses the button to take the photo TIME STOPS it is then that this group of people (sick sick people) from another dimension rush in and give you a middle part, puff powder all over your face just so you look extra pale and smudge black stuff under your eyes. Cousin Jack (or whoever) gets the “closed eyes and all teeth” look and other people are just plain out SWITCHED.
Then, the photo taken, all people are returned to their normal appearance as if these other dimensional pranksters had never been there.
Perhaps that’s where all the deleted photos go. Perhaps this is why they do it. All the photos ever deleted travel to another dimension and these PRANKSTERS they sit around and have a good laugh.
Perhaps this is the same dimension that all the odd socks go to... Who knows? Thats a story for another day.
Another one of lifes mysteries
Thank you. Thank you very much

xox eve xox
P.s. If anyone wishes to add some actual science type stuff to explain this I would be interested in what you have to say.


Bulldog said...

That is actually a fact, and if anyone needs proof that time is stopped, at the exact point when someone gets their picture taken, take a photo of someone with a clock in the background, in the picture, the clock (if accurate) will say the exact time that the photo was taken! cant deny that!

Bulldog said...

one of the travellers through the space time continuum, is called "the camera obscurer", its his job to put a thumb, or fore-finger over the lens, and if you're holding the camera too tightly, he has to use force, which often results in blurred photos

Secret Squirrel said...

i mean no disrespect bulldog but star trek quotes and camera type references just wont cut it this time..
this is bigger than watergate people!
eh eh ehhhhhhh

monkee maker said...

Hmmm, I seem to recall a time, not so long ago, when this blog had a profile picture of a beautiful woman with long blonde hair, who looked stunning. Maybe it was a model?

Just saying ....


Secret Squirrel said...

BUT...that was one of those times that I mentioned...that photo was taken by my friend who is a professional so that does not count....they learn how to keep the "other dimensional" people away
xox eve xox

marky mark said...

Don't let the monkey see that you gave him the red eye treatment or he may go ape and smash the camera!
Re the inter dimensional pranksters I think it is the electrons that do it. They have to make millions of megapixels for less than one cent an hour and they must get really tired running around inside that little box. Maybe try some soothing words to that camera or completely flatten the battery and recharge it with fresh electrons. Hope this helps.